When our son Matthew became deaf as a toddler due to illness, we were naturally concerned about how we would communicate with him. How would I know if he was feeling sick or tired or angry? We determined as a family that we would all learn to communicate his language. It was a daunting task at first. But well-worth it!
Have you ever wanted to communicate with someone who is deaf, but just didn't know how? Maybe you have a deaf family member that you admire but feel shy about initiating conversation. It can feel intimidating as a hearing person when you're not sure of how to communicate in another language. Yes, sign language, and particularly American Sign Language, is a language all its own! But don't let that stop you in learning some tips to start up a great conversation.
Is there one way to communicate? No, there isn't, whether hearing or deaf. Here are some great tips to help you communicate from the National Deaf Center:
1. Each person communicates differently: So, don't assume that everyone uses sign language or needs a sign language interpreter. Many people who lose their hearing later in life never learn sign language, so they may prefer writing notes, lip reading, or may use assistive listening devices.
2. Ask! It's okay to ask what their preference may be. It can be writing, gesturing, speaking slower, basic signs, or other methods. Most deaf individuals are happy to slow down and even teach a few signs when a hearing person shows an interest.
3. Consider the situation: An informal conversation between friends will be much different from an employment, training, or educational situation. This should always be taken into consideration when planning for each environment.
4. Getting someone's attention: deaf individuals tend to be very visual. As I found out when raising my deaf son, calling out someone's name is not going to be helpful! Some respectful and effective ways to connect are:
- Wave your hand in their field of vision, but not too close to their face.
- Flick the lights on and off, once or twice (not over and over). One thing to note here is that the flickering of lights can have an adverse effect on persons with seizure disorders. So, if this is known information, you may want to avoid this option.
- Gently tap their shoulder.
- Use vibration to get their attention by knocking on a shared desk or table or other piece of furniture. Even the floor!
5. Consider the surroundings: For example,
- There should be good lighting (speaker should not in front of a bright window or light).
- Clear sight lines (deaf person should be able to comfortably see the speaker, interpreter, or captions).
- Use areas with fewer distractions - reduce unneeded background noises such as music. It can be hard for people with cochlear implants or hearing aids to focus because of background sounds that are amplified because of their assistive technology.
- Avoid visual clutter - a calm, steady background (no flashing lights, heavy foot traffic) is best to maintain focus.
6. Speak directly to the individual and not an interpreter or companion.
7. Speak at a natural pace. Don't slow down, exaggerate, or shout unnecessarily. If not understood the first time, rephrase and try, try again!
8. When interacting, don't move around too much so that the deaf individual will be able to see your face. Keep your hands away from your face when talking and don't chew gum or smoke or anything else that hides your mouth.
10. Once started, don't say "never mind." This conveys to the deaf individual that the conversation isn't important enough to include them.
The National Deaf Center website provides more ideas and even an online module to let you explore lived experiences of deaf individuals. Be sure to check it out: Communicating with Deaf People - National Deaf Center.